For James
by Demaris Jones
Summary: A poem from Zilpha to James


The first four lines of this came to me in my sleep. I woke up and wrote them down and went back to sleep. But you know this kind of business never leaves you alone until it's done. I have never submitted poetry to FF, so this is new for me. I hope you enjoy it. I do miss Zilpha so..

FOR JAMES...

Brother, I have drunk the taste

of honey from your velvet lips,

And wrought from you exquisite pleasure

With my questing fingertips

In ancient, secret tongues the dead

Sang to us, as in our bed

We bound ourselves in golden chain,

Our flesh renewed by love and pain

How wild and careless we were then,

Above the laws of gods and men

Caring naught for consequence

Or judgment of perceived offense.

But evil of another kind

Wormed its way into your mind.

Tainted with the sins of others

The water dragged you down, my brother.

A thousand nights and a thousand days,

(Never dreaming that Fate's grace

Had cast you on that foreign shore)

For Death's embrace did I implore.

I should have known that, were you gone,

I wouldn't have been left alone.

Your singing would have filled my ears

I might have saved my bitter tears.

I sought redemption in God's laws;

I overlooked his obvious flaws.

I married - our sacred bond betrayed

And costly was the price I paid!

He stole my very self away -

Wrote for me a part to play

Reduced me to a brittle shell,

And paved my thorny way to hell.

I thought to suffer evermore

Until you breeched the minster door

And saved me from a living death,

Returned to me my life and breath.

Your presence filled that holy place.

I gazed upon your beloved face

And lightning flashed around your form

With the force of a summer storm

Transfixed, entranced, I could not move.

Your presence here could only prove

That even dreaded Death must fear

The magic that you bring to bear -

The arcane spells and ancient powers

The mighty spirit that devours

The hearts of all your enemies, whole -

Their life force and their very soul.

A fool, I thought I could remain

Apart from you, I could maintain

A distance from your dauntless will,

Illusion that was true until

You watched me in the mirror glass.

I felt your eyes in their trespass

Lay bare my shabby masquerade,

And force an end to my charade.

I burned to feel your skin on mine,

Sip from your mouth its heady wine,

Feel your hands in rough caress

And together, incandesce

Into a single ardent flame.

Instead, your anger, and my shame

Made us part in enmity.

I vowed my face you'd never see.

But I could not fight you, nor resist;

Without you, I do not exist.

You hold the power to rule my heart

No longer shall we be apart

Now nothing bars our happiness -

no remorse and no distress.

He who was Thorne now turns to mold;

It's true, revenge is best served cold.

I rejoiced - the obstacle, removed

But then my optimism proved

Too premature - misplaced, I fear

For you no longer held me dear.

You spurned my passion and my love

Tormented by the visions of

A long-dead mother, mad and cruel

Whose ghost now played me for a fool

You held no place for me within

And cast me out, as if a sin

There was to be no home for me

In your brave new world across the sea.

Alone, bereft, beyond redemption

I turn away from the gates of Heaven

Down to the Thames have I been driven

Knowing my sins are not forgiven.

I sink now into mud and silt.

Drag me to purgatory if thou wilt

To oblivion, or to hell my fate.

It matters not, for I will wait

Detached observer of the start

Of a drama in which I play no part.

The curtain rises on Act II

The players all your pawns, it's true.

Plans of vengeance set in motion,

Now you cross another ocean

Searching for some answer to

The demons that are plaguing you.

The mystery of your heathen mother

Never will be solved, my brother.

The blood of witches fills your veins;

Dark the magic that remains.

Though you think to pierce the veil

Of death, yet you are bound to fail.

The spirit that you seek to know

Cast you from her long ago.

By loss and madness are we bound

The peace you seek ne'er will be found

Until death claims you in its grasp

And you lie within my arms at last.

Though parted long by time and sea,

Still, I am you and you are me.

I am, as I have ever been

The ghost inside of your machine.


End file.
